the biggest laughs my theater had for the grand budapest hotel came from the million ways to die in the west trailer

now that i have your attention is anyone interested in crowd sourcing my new film idea a million ways to diane wiest

thank you and goodnight forever

"the only identity she couldn’t thief was her own"

i should be working for movies and alerting movies to missed opportunities for great tags like that one for identity thief

the plan was to change the oil in my car and see hunger games while i waited for them to finish

that didn’t happen i’m still in bed OH WELL

as consumer scum i will put five minute into attempting to buy an ipad air online at target at 8:59pm pst and if that doesn’t work out OH WELL

all hail aidy bryant our new snl overlord

i have a cup i use in the morning and drink out of at work

and when i come home i bring it in from the car and its usually used to carry junk in from my car like my ipod or my headphones

and i didn’t realize until i got to the bottom of my cup of water just now that underneath my many layers of ice my headphones were still in there

i haven’t tested to see if they’re dead by i’m assuming the worst

and this may be the worst thing that has ever happened to me

word to the wise

do not immediately double feature gravity with captain phillips

unless you would like to become a husk of a human being and completely drain yourself physically and emotionally then by all means go ahead

having the treat yo self day of the century tomorrow

and by that i mean i’m going to see gravity alone in 3D imax

and then maybe i’m gonna buy some vegetarian lasagna later in the day

i have one real great plugs themes idea but neither have the talent or energy to manifest them into reality so i’ll have to wait until i achieve enough fame to appear on the show and then perform it live

here it is for free, its just an incredibly simplistic reworking of minnie riperton’s “loving you” in which the work love is substituted with the word plug. you’re welcome

long live aidy bryant vanessa bayer taran killam and bobby moynihan

praise be our new overlords

im ten thousand percent on board with this season

everyone is constantly crushing it all over the place

we’re nearing the sixth anniversary of when the world stopped and learned how to crank that soulja boy

where were you

Tags: where were you ???

do i see gravity in expensive imax 3d alone

or do i see it in regular with friends for cheap

this is the hardest choice i’ve ever made

until i learn the new snl cast members names

i’m referring to them as the following

not nat faxon
not rob delaney
effeminite chris hardwick
mike o’brien

that was the funniest prex has been all across the board in a real long time

and now i revert to sitting on the carpet in sweats that are too big and a sweatshirt that is too small i am crushing it in september 2013

shout out to all the white people who’ve never been given a card where the message is composed predominantly with candy bars